I skipped work to stalk him.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
