You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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