put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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