Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
do nipples grow back?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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