can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
