TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
