dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
