oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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