I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
