She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
