Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
