I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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