she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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