He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
