3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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