I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
