sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
