i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
