Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I stole a fireplace last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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