This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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