turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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