This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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