omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
