the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
