Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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