he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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