Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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