Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
