I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
