just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
