I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
BRING THE BAGELS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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