My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
