i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
