the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
