So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
