brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
