you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
