Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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