Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
whose ass print is on the piano?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
