Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
