i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
