i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
