Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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