can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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