who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
