I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
