drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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