this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
