Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
