I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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