Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
